“Love Is Life Force”: A Conversation with ALOK
Feature Alok
Photographer + Stylist Haley Varacallo
Interview by River Coello
Makeup Artist Randy
Hair April Andreu
Nails LaCrème
On Set Stylist Sephra
Assistant + BTS Samson Smith
Producer Director Barry Brandon
ALOK is “constantly becoming.” That’s what the trailblazing multihyphenate says when asked who they are.
In a world often constrained by rigid norms, ALOK stands as a beacon of perpetual transformation, a testament to the beauty of becoming. “If I were to answer [who I am] with a fixed definition, it would exhaust itself in a few minutes and you’d have to find me somewhere else,” they said.
“It feels less honest to say who I am and more accurate to say what I’m doing. And what I’m doing is: trying.”
They’re not just trying, though. They’re succeeding by embodying new possibilities. The author, poet, actor, comedian, and public speaker is the mind behind work characterized by an unmistakably personal and audacious expressiveness – an unapologetic truth – that has captivated a global audience.
Through the creation of the #DeGenderFashion movement and the publication of three beautifully transgressive books, ALOK has challenged outdated and oppressive messagings that societies worldwide have long insisted upon. They are an expert at coloring outside the lines, and they have become a hero to many queer people around the world for that very quality.
“ALOK is an expert at coloring outside the lines, and they have become a hero to many queer people around the world for that very quality.”
Their solo comedy show, Biology!, recently brought them to Europe and Latin America, where they felt a profound connection with their audiences. We connected with ALOK after the Latin American leg of the tour, when they shared about their art, their recent journey, and the lessons they have been mulling over from the quiet reflection of their hotel room.
Through our conversation with ALOK, we transcended the conventional discourses on identity and ventured into the realms of the soul.
ALOK speaks of a world that moves beyond acceptance to a place of love, envisioning a society where hatred is not just unnecessary but obsolete. To ALOK, “love is life force,” the recognition of our mutual complexities, an embrace of our collective humanity in all its contradictory glory.
Ultimately, ALOK's journey is a call to action, an invitation to live in the full spectrum of our humanity. It’s a reminder that in the grand tapestry of life, love is not just an emotion but a revolutionary force that propels us forward.
Through their words, their art, and their very being, ALOK encourages us to embrace the infinite journey of love, to engage with the world in the most authentic and loving way possible.
Dress Queera
What is your art currently unfolding for you?
On tour, there was this one night in my hotel room where I was like, “How did this happen?” How did my words migrate from me to strangers all the way across the world who felt like potential friends? My art is taking me to a deeper realization – that strangers don’t exist. That we are fundamentally connected to one another. That art is the medicine that helps us remember that intrinsic truth.
“We are fundamentally connected to one another. Art is the medicine that helps us remember that intrinsic truth.”
What is a life lesson you have been mulling over?
I keep learning that we can’t change other people, that ultimately people have to make the decision to change themselves. It’s a hard pill to swallow. So much of my childhood – at a cellular level – was shaped by the idea that I could just convince people to accept me by finding the right words, the right data, the right histories.
I’ve learned that all of the information is there. It’s not about comprehension, it’s about trauma. People find it easier to believe in lies about other people to distract from truths about themselves. With that in mind, I’m continually asking myself: What else do I do with my time? Where else do I put my energy? It’s a major rewiring of circuitry, but I know it’s for the best.
Garment Paula Jewell
In your journey, where are your identity and spirituality meeting?
I find so much guidance from the wisdom of spiritual practitioners, mystics, religious leaders championing a more compassionate world. I no longer find the language of “gender” to be sufficient in communicating what I have to express. I’m not just talking about my gender – I’m talking about my soul.
I’m not just talking about accepting trans and gender non-conforming people, I’m talking about the creation of a world where hatred is obsolete. I’m not talking about acceptance, I’m talking about love. My identity helped me find my spirituality and my spirituality has helped me move beyond identity to… Well, there’s no fixed answer there. That’s the point.
Garment Paula Jewell
“I’m talking about the creation of a world where hatred is obsolete. I’m not talking about acceptance, I’m talking about love.”
And what is love to you?
Recognition and appreciation of our mutual complexity. An embrace of our humanity – by which I mean – our contradiction. A commitment to return, to interdependence, to vulnerability. Love is life force. What keeps us alive, not merely existing.
The world needs more friendship! Loneliness is the question, friendship is the answer. Friendship makes people feel part of something greater than themselves. Friendship is that sacred act of becoming our best selves through one another.
Custom Garment Ana Jablinkski
Assistant Felipe Borrego
Where else are you finding strength?
Currently, it’s literature. I can’t get enough. Fiction is so beautiful it gives me hope. Like someone in the world is this talented, saw the world with this much clarity and precision, that means that good will triumph over evil. It has to! Literature gifts me beauty. Beauty gifts me hope. Hope gifts me strength.
Custom Garment Ana Jablinkski
Assistant Felipe Borrego
Lastly, what would you tell those feeling like “too much” in this world?
In the sage words of Lindsay Lohan: “The limit does not exist!” The rules are not reality. You get to be you – in the fullest incarnation of yourself. I’m sorry that you’ve been made to feel like you can’t. You are worthy of more expansive love.
This interview was edited for length and clarity.
Dress Queera
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